I do not think it means what you think it means.

Aeryn mouth twist
"The boy did not get when I saddled up to him and said 'you know, I wrote the book'"

Do NOT forget to turn the FAN on
not happy
"How does Sherlock get away with being such a smart aleck? When I make one comment like that I get a speech about the importance of humidity from my parents."

up to no good
R.I.P. director Ken Russel (1927-2011), who brought us many unique and pungent movies.

Poignant, maybe?

A Adam Plantbert
From Facebook:

...one lady looks like she has a blind see and eye cat.

He was commenting on a picture of a line of women who each had a black cat on a leash. One of the women was wearing sunglasses, so I think she is the one he was talking about.

That's Not What They're Used For
A Adam BTIKM Light Are You Kidding
From a catalog description of a pair of boots for women with larger calves:

Wide shat in imitation leather and fabric.

(no subject)
I forgot to share this wonderful line from the fic in my last post: "please take a shit and we will explain the circumsize."

The really sad thing is I'm still not absolutely certain that this is a troll. I've seen too many similar and entirely sincere things.

When I feel like it
Wilson-Not Approved
This one has been bugging me for several months now.

More and more, the automated email reply that people send when they are out of the office says, "I'll return your email at my earliest convenience." Our customers don't want to hear back from you only when it's convenient for you! They want to hear back at your earliest availability.

You invite other people to call back when it's convenient, as a courtesy. You yourself need to hurry your ass up.

(no subject)
"I lust johnatan NOT YOU!" she eviscerated softly wilst she cries the velvit tears odf the mennopauses that climacate from the ruens of the reched pedimeants of life. "HE IS CUMMING FOR ME"

"No Rosa..." Sollux abatemented and he toke of his glasses to reveal the eyes of a worm lordess who crathed the fleash of the billium rectations of lacing china silk and his sockets were emptyed with aluminiem tissues made from the pancreus of god, "HE HAS SEXUAL INTERCURSE WITH GAMHEE AND TAVROS IN THE MOUNTAIN." he came.

Rose started to crey the tears of raen that fals on venus only no raen ever gos their becuz theres no warter but they were filed with the love of volcanic explshions and exploitees.

I have no idea what words the author was looking for, but I think I can state with certainty that the words they actually used were not them. (Source here.)

(no subject)
From a review in a magazine:

"He ran the full gamete of emotions"

I'm all for challenging the status quo
But I agree that tall good-looking women are best avoided.

From a political comment on Youtube:

"Universities have become the very last places you'd want to challenge the statuesque."

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